Re: PostgreSQL 17 Beta 1 release announcement draft

On 5/16/24 1:10 AM, Thom Brown wrote:
> On Thu, May 16, 2024, 02:45 Jonathan S. Katz <jkatz(at)postgresql(dot)org
> <mailto:jkatz(at)postgresql(dot)org>> wrote:
>
> Hi,
>
> Attached is a copy of the PostgreSQL 17 Beta 1 release announcement
> draft. This contains a user-facing summary of some of the features that
> will be available in the Beta, as well as a call to test. I've made an
> effort to group them logically around the different workflows they
> affect.
>
> A few notes:
>
> * The section with the features is not 80-char delimited. I will do
> that
> before the final copy
>
> * There is an explicit callout that we've added in the SQL/JSON
> features
> that were previously reverted in PG15. I want to ensure we're
> transparent about that, but also use it as a hook to get people testing.
>
> When reviewing:
>
> * Please check for correctness of feature descriptions, keeping in mind
> this is targeted for a general audience
>
> * Please indicate if you believe there's a notable omission, or if we
> should omit any of these callouts
>
> * Please indicate if a description is confusing - I'm happy to rewrite
> to ensure it's clearer.
>
> Please provide feedback no later than Wed 2024-05-22 18:00 UTC. As the
> beta release takes some extra effort, I want to ensure all changes are
> in with time to spare before release day.
>
>
> "Now as of PostgreSQL 17, you can now use parallel index builds for
> [BRIN](https://www.postgresql.org/docs/17/brin.html
> <https://www.postgresql.org/docs/17/brin.html>) indexes."
>
> The 2nd "now" is redundant.
>
>
> "Finally, PostgreSQL 17 adds more explicitly SIMD instructions,
> including AVX-512 support for the
> [`bit_count](https://www.postgresql.org/docs/17/functions-bitstring.html
> <https://www.postgresql.org/docs/17/functions-bitstring.html>) function."
>
> Would "SIMD-explicit instructions" be better? Also, I know you may not
> be using markdown for the final version, but the bit_count backtick
> isn't matched by a closing backtick.
>
>
> "[`COPY`](https://www.postgresql.org/docs/17/sql-copy.html
> <https://www.postgresql.org/docs/17/sql-copy.html>), used to efficiently
> bulk load data into PostgreSQL"
>
> The "used to" makes me stumble into reading it as meaning "it previously
> could efficiently bulk load data".
>
> Perhaps just add a "which is" before "used"?
>
>
> "PostgreSQL 17 includes a built-in collation provider that provides
> similar semantics to the `C` collation provided by libc."
>
> "provider", "provides", and "provided" feels too repetitive.
>
> How about, "PostgreSQL 17 includes a built-in collation provider with
> semantics similar to the `C` collation offered by libc."?

Thanks - I accepted (with modifications) most of the suggestions here.
I'll include in the next version of the draft.

Jonathan