Re: Sponsorship Page Language

On Fri, Jan 11, 2013 at 4:08 PM, Jonathan S. Katz
<jonathan(dot)katz(at)excoventures(dot)com> wrote:
>
> Typo aside in the original text, reading through it did not make sense:
>
> "Sponsorship levels are meant to provide the general public an idea of how
> levels are determined."
>
> From that I glean that sponsorship levels tell me how sponsorship levels are
> determined. Um...?

Hmm, yeah - that doesn't scan so well. I'm not sure it needs a
complete rewrite though - e.g.

"Sponsorship colours are meant to provide the general public an idea
of how levels are determined."

That's still not great and could be improved.

I think the important part is actually the second sentence though, as
that's the bit we wanted to be clear on - and that reads OK to me.

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Dave Page
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