== PostgreSQL Weekly News - April 01 2010 ==

== PostgreSQL Weekly News - April 01 2010 ==

Following the trend towards NoSQL database management, the core team
has announced its intention to replace SQL with QUEL in 9.1, which
will be called PostgreQUEL. QUEL beat Erlang as a replacement
language, mostly because PostgreIBelieveIDidBob was too hard to spell.

Bruce Momjian commented, "Obviously allowing the storage of
unstructured data is more flexible because both structured and
unstructured data can be stored in the same system. After all, a
relational table with 30 columns is really just 30 key/value pairs,"
while David Fetter, taking his usual exquisitely diplomatic tone,
said, "The relational model is outmoded and overhyped."

After personally tracking down every copyright holder for PostgreQUEL,
Larry Ellison announced his buy-out of the entire PostgreQUEL Global
Development Group. "It wasn't easy prying the copyrights out of all
those widows' and orphans' hands, but it was worth it," he said in a
statement from his new home, a refrigerator box atop a steam grate in
San Francisco.

== PostgreQUEL 9.1 Feature of the Week ==

Distributed map-reduce functions in Erlang.

== PostgreSQL Tip of the Week ==

You don't really need to bother with all those tables and relations.
Just create a single 3-column table: ID, attribute, value.

== PostgreSQL in the News ==

Planet PostgreSQL: http://planet.postgresql.org/

PostgreSQL Weekly News is brought to you this week by David Fetter

Submit news and announcements by Sunday at 3:00pm Pacific time.
Please send English language ones to david(at)fetter(dot)org, German language
to pwn(at)pgug(dot)de, Italian language to pwn(at)itpug(dot)org(dot)

== Applied Patches ==

None.

== Rejected Patches (for now) ==

Everyone was disappointed this week :-(

== Pending Patches ==

None.